Parenting A Middle Schooler During A Pandemic

There are many moments as a parent that I am in awe of the Canada’s design. I admit, her design is unmatched when I look back at my younger self. Not to compare + contrast the various idiosyncrasies that we have, but I am grateful. Many times as parents we have inserted our own frailties in an effort to help our children along, forgetting they don’t belong to us. I have asked forgiveness, made stronger bonds + sadly made a few dents along the way. Bygones! We persist!

I am extremely grateful that most of my faultlines stem from being too strong to appear week, too stubborn to be compliant + too wounded to see the needs of my children. I have often been consumed with the child that was neglected due to a parent that only had the capacity to situate my needs after hers. I have cried from a space of pure rage from my inner child longing to have a mother that was present as I am. I admit that I have often wished that I could be absent, but my trauma has made me more accountable to ensure that my children get the best of me.

I have learned to exercise grace + patience towards all of my shortcomings. I have learned to take responsibility for my stuff + ask for forgiveness when I need to. I have learned not to feel slighted when I receive choice words from my children because I realize that it is all a part of the process. Their process. Besides, isn’t that is what we all needed? A non-judgmental space to fall + make numerous mistakes in an effort to navigate life in a much better way.

Parenting is a job that challenges me everyday to heal the inner child within me. My children are the the people that I cherish as I grow because they teach me how to surrender, be flexible + most of all embrace the mistakes. I am grateful that my children love me for the best + worst parts of me that I am still learning to love.