Thriving While Black

In this season of my life, I am beginning to recognize the subtleties that connect trauma to lack. I understand that finding my worth was paramount to so many other things in my life. Truthfully, it is my natural instinct to struggle as a black woman just because of the historical narrative attached to what it means to be a black woman. So much of my healing has been unpacking my lack + the narrative surrounding how I view myself in a world that diminishes my very existence. Its complicated! My mother lived in a constant state of scarcity due to the effort that was exerted on something she didn’t understand …her worth.

The reality is trauma breeds lack, lack breeds fear + fear breeds unworthiness. I have watched my mother dissect her worth all her life while wrestling with the concept of “feeling obligated to people who felt just as unworthy.” I have observed my mother reminisce on the memories of lack while living a much better life than her mother, but never fully realizing it. Its complicated! The feeling of lack is consuming + often takes more effort to relinquish than it does to give in to it.

As I live a much better life than my mother, grandmother + great -grandmother, I am humbled. I know that I am doing better not because they didn’t have a desire to, but rather there were so many other things that were competing for their attention. Even the notion of feeling worthy that you can make it despite everything around you telling you something different. This moment in my life is monumental in that I am committed to paying homage to all the women that desired to live with ease + abundance but somehow it escaped them. This season in my life is urgent in that I refuse to lead with nothing less than the worth that my black ancestors were born into…Royalty. In order to truly be free, we must break free from a historical construct that never meant for us to succeed. We must lead with the most powerful energy that currency produces…love. Only with love can we make + retain the wealth we really deserve.