Making Room For Growth

To be a woman that is unequivocally sure of herself you must be firm + reserve only the tender parts of yourself for people who have earned the right to benefit from it. The truth is to be a black, queer, woman you must learn quickly that you must walk quiet with a big stick. You can’t leave anything on the table not even a possibility for an opportunity. You must be prepared to walk away from friends + family at any moment; especially if they are interfering with the woman you are becoming. Its complicated! You must push your children to grow up + not lean to hard on you unless you give way to their desires + ultimately forget about yours. You must love your spouse with your whole heart + refuse to allow fear to keep you from committing + forgiving. God damn is it complicated!

I realize that I love being a woman, but I hate the space we occupy in society. I despise how people assume that having kids only leaves room for a heteronormative relationship. I abhor how society expects children to always be with their parents (insert: mother or any person that resembles one). I detest how children have an expectation of mothers that they would never have of fathers because of society. I dislike how women are frowned upon when they have multiple partners; yet men are revered. I understand that my experiences have shaped me to stand tall in rooms where I am supposed to shrink + walk away from deals that don’t match my worth. I now fully comprehend the woman my mother was. It was life that forced her in a corner that left her no other choice but to fight her way out.

This picture is reference to my mother + all of my female ancestors that never received the recognition they deserved. This moment is for my grandmother + the one time she got a job + actually got a glimpse of the woman she could have been had she put herself first. This picture is for my aunts who allowed me the honor to sit at their feet while learning how to take care of a family. This moment is for every woman that made room for me to succeed. This joy is for the path that I am paving for my daughter + all other women. May we respect ourselves enough to pursue every single thing we want with the full recognition that we were always worth it + so much more!