Perspective Of A 40 Year Old Black Woman

There are moments in life that seemed very different when I was younger + this is one of them. I imagined 40 to look ancient as I decide whether to wash another load of clothes or fix lunches with inconsequential utensils. I pictured myself being in a rat race most days virtually unrecognizable to myself. I visualized myself in a rut, nestled in marriage trying to dodge the 7-year itch + hanging with people who have amputated parts of themselves just to fit in. I envisioned dragging my children to activities as I listen to random people discuss parts of their life they hate. Then I hit 40 + I realized that this moment is more than I ever dreamed. In fact, at 40 I became more of a woman by allowing my scars to be the fuel to navigate my purpose. Actually, at 40 I fell more in love with myself by loving another human being from a perpetual space of forgiveness. If truth be told, at 40 I acknowledged that I hate cooking, I need intimacy at the same frequency as sex or nothing less + I am so grateful to love what I do every day. As a matter of fact, at 40 I recognized that I enjoy people who reflect goodness a hell of lot more than people who deplete my energy. Honestly, at 40 I liberated my children in a way that set us both free + gave me permission to be a woman. The truth is, at 40 I fell in love with me + the beautiful messy journey that got me to this point. Actually, at 40 I am resolved.

I am learning to let love rule in every area of my life. Understanding that the mistakes were a roadmap to help others when they don’t recognize themselves. Accepting that my truth liberates me every time I utter it because when you hold the power to your own story no one can ever enslave you. I am convinced that God is so real + ever present in my life; yet She gives me so much room to grow. I love Her immensely! I am constantly breaking + shattering as I grow into an even more resolved woman, but this time in my life I know how to put myself back together.

So as I grow more in love with myself + make even more room for love in my life. I welcome every transition that life sprinkles as a reminder of the power of grace. The journey of life is a ceremony that happens every time I learn a lesson + every conversation with God is like a meal with all the right ingredients. I am aging as my hair begins to welcome grays + I graciously welcome menopause when she comes. In the meantime, I wear my wrinkles like any body of water; fluid + sexy refusing anyone to let me drown.