Leading With Love and Compassion
This blog is for the individual that desires more of themselves + the people in their lives.
Recently, I've found myself drawn to reflect on the journey of women and the essence with which we navigate life. This introspection takes me back to a poignant moment when my daughter embarked on her first menstrual cycle. It was a time when I felt compelled to gather the women in my life, forming a circle of community to guide her into this significant phase of womanhood.
Read MoreBeing a woman is birthed from so much pain. The resilience I carry in my stride has carried me through many moments in life. My body has ached from the things it has endured. I am so proud of it. I continue to look at all the ways the world has tried to put in me in a box just because of who I am. It won’t work; however I appreciate how hard society tells me to marry by a certain time + birth just enough children to keep me from ever seeing the light of day. I laugh at how the world embraces the notion that makes me subservient in every space. I never listen because I know that it doesn’t apply to me.
Read MoreThere are moments in life when you have to make a decision that hurts you in places that you can’t seem to articulate. When you reach for the words, you can’t even begin to complete the sentences for fear of running into your own feelings. I understand the amount of work it takes to stay sane. It is dangerous when you leave doors + windows unlocked to a house you never owned keys to. It will leave you vacant in ways that you often wonder who ever granted permission to so many unworthy people.
Read MoreThis picture is a reflection of a woman who is deeply involved with herself. Don’t mind the background or my beautiful spouse but rather hear my heart. This moment is a fraction of many moments in my life that are often so fleeting due to the demands of life, a career that I love, motherhood + many other wonderful things that I am blessed to do. Yet there is a transition that my body is slowing shifting to or at least I am yearning for. I desire to be free of one thing + that is my “moon.”
Read MoreThere are moments in life that seemed very different when I was younger + this is one of them. I imagined 40 to look ancient as I decide whether to wash another load of clothes or fix lunches with inconsequential utensils. I pictured myself being in a rat race most days virtually unrecognizable to myself. I visualized myself in a rut, nestled in marriage trying to dodge the 7-year itch + hanging with people who have amputated parts of themselves just to fit in. I envisioned dragging my children to activities as I listen to random people discuss parts of their life they hate. Then I hit 40 + I realized that this moment is more than I ever dreamed. In fact, at 40 I became more of a woman by allowing my scars to be the fuel to navigate my purpose. Actually, at 40 I fell more in love with myself by loving another human being from a perpetual space of forgiveness. If truth be told, at 40 I acknowledged that I hate cooking, I need intimacy at the same frequency as sex or nothing less + I am so grateful to love what I do every day. As a matter of fact, at 40 I recognized that I enjoy people who reflect goodness a hell of lot more than people who deplete my energy. Honestly, at 40 I liberated my children in a way that set us both free + gave me permission to be a woman. The truth is, at 40 I fell in love with me + the beautiful messy journey that got me to this point. Actually, at 40 I am resolved.
Read MoreThere is a saintly aura that transcends my life every time seasons change. I can feel it in my bones, my back aches + my mind tries to coerce my spirit into thinking this feeling will pass, but the flesh won’t allow it to subside. It is no surprise that I am deeply introspective + probably more honest than others care for me to be. Blame it on my tragic beginning, all the hearts I broke, the lies I told + the trauma I ingested. I gather my mistakes + rinse them daily because unlike most people I see myself clearly because I like my coffee dark with lots of self- reflection. I sit in every choice + every regret until I can cover every circumstance in forgiveness. Lately I’ve experienced all kind of loss which reminds me that I’m still learning how to let grief take a seat until its ready to vacate my sanctuary.
Read MoreTo carry the intersections of being black + a woman on the carousel of life while juggling the intersections of class + gender one must dissect the tradition of overcoming being a black woman. The black woman has endured destruction at every door + sometimes at the hand of her own mother, the mere reflection of her own likeness has been betrayed by generations of abandoned women. Unfortunately, even herself is not beyond her own suspicion. It’s complicated! She’s intelligent; but often insecure. She’s attractive, but often undesirable because her attitude reeks of rejection. She’s extremely loving, but unapproachable. She wears abandonment like cashmere; unemotional yet refined. Everyone has overlooked her; therefore, she must display a disposition of being perpetually guarded. God forbid she is exposed as false with all the blankets of contradictions. Striving in her career to overcompensate for the relationship she longs for. Playing interpersonal relationships like chess; never working with women who may challenge her for fear of being seen as an imposter. Dismissive at best; intimidated at worst. We struggle being seen because we have been overlooked for so long.
Read MoreOn most days, I am praying for my wife + all the unions that deserve to penetrate darkness. Some weeks my to-do list is just to love her so I stay shackled to humility ensuring that my ego stays beneath my longings to do right. Heartfelt + intentional I seek to exhibit a commitment that resurrects everyday just to succeed. My only wish is to close the gap of the incessant reminders of unresolved trauma. Daily I am reminded of the extraordinary people that have covered my struggles with a blanket of stars as a testament that we can survive. Perhaps our love can cover a multitude of transgressions. So we love…
Read MoreWhat do you do when all you perceive contradicts, what you know to be right? When your ancestors fought for privileges that you never were required to share. Meanwhile life is requiring you to allocate the equity that you are so unfamiliar with rationing. I get it, it’s complicated! In such a conflicting climate, where females are fighting for women’s rights; there is still a silent divide. It’s hidden behind spouses, concealed beneath salaries, nestled in the quaint neighborhoods we choose to reside in + the spaces we decide to occupy with the friends we choose to appease. I get it; its layered!
Read MoreOh how I love being a woman! When I think of our pulchritudinous splendor, the ability to bring lives into the world, and how we are built like countries, I am reminded of an immigrant exiled from their home. Lost but not forgotten. The amazing truth is that most women don’t know who they are because of one simple truism…we have given away our power!
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