Am I my sister’s keeper?

September 21, 2022 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, family, generational healing, history, life, love, spirituality, womanaremagic

Lately, I have been thinking about how the mother wound and its role in the lives of men and women have surfaced as of late. The commitment to healing the fracture of not being loved must be foundational for women. It creates an openness and honesty that is necessary to be in community. When we lack self-love, we become a container for garbage that makes us feel like we must “outdo, out-work, out be” one another. Underneath that confusion is a sobering truth that many women would rather die than admit, most women don’t love themselves.

Hair...It's Complicated!

December 05, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, love, life, LGBTQIA, people of color, queer, women of color, womanaremagic

I always wanted to loc my hair but I had to shed so much historical bondage around my hair. I used to get my hair pressed with a straightening comb which eventually lead me to perming my hair; yet it never yielded the response I wanted to feel...free. I dreaded the days that my hair ruled everything I did from working out, swimming, enjoying outdoors + even having sex. It’s complicated! I recall how men responded to my hair when it was straight + long; yet I never felt prettier, sexier, or more desired. Ironically, I felt like a replica of someone that needed to be noticed by people who didn’t matter.

Perspective Of A 40 Year Old Black Woman

May 28, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, life, love, personal development, spirituality, womanaremagic, women of color

There are moments in life that seemed very different when I was younger + this is one of them. I imagined 40 to look ancient as I decide whether to wash another load of clothes or fix lunches with inconsequential utensils. I pictured myself being in a rat race most days virtually unrecognizable to myself. I visualized myself in a rut, nestled in marriage trying to dodge the 7-year itch + hanging with people who have amputated parts of themselves just to fit in. I envisioned dragging my children to activities as I listen to random people discuss parts of their life they hate. Then I hit 40 + I realized that this moment is more than I ever dreamed. In fact, at 40 I became more of a woman by allowing my scars to be the fuel to navigate my purpose. Actually, at 40 I fell more in love with myself by loving another human being from a perpetual space of forgiveness. If truth be told, at 40 I acknowledged that I hate cooking, I need intimacy at the same frequency as sex or nothing less + I am so grateful to love what I do every day. As a matter of fact, at 40 I recognized that I enjoy people who reflect goodness a hell of lot more than people who deplete my energy. Honestly, at 40 I liberated my children in a way that set us both free + gave me permission to be a woman. The truth is, at 40 I fell in love with me + the beautiful messy journey that got me to this point. Actually, at 40 I am resolved.

Finding Peace

November 07, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in life, personal development, personal growth, queer, womanaremagic, women of color

I’ve been trying to nestle into a new space, find solace in fulfilling work, create the marriage I never saw while raising secure children. Looking for a gentle place where security is a constant, love is mirrored daily + my children can thrive is a delicate balancing act. It’s seems effortless as I ravel off years of rhetoric coupled with theories doused in all the residencies I attended just to be able to apply knowledge to my own life. The mere fact that I can write such a candid narrative is evidence that the scars of my ancestors are being healed.

Evolving

October 23, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in careers, education, leadership, life, personal growth, queer, women of color, womanaremagic

Finding my place in the world has been exhilarating, disconcerting, and often times intimidating. After a few missteps in life, I have slowly learned to do what feels beneficial to me. Ironically, in a world full of pretentious over-doers, I have often felt like my best wasn’t good enough. While all accomplishments are commendable, I have learned that some are often disregarded because they don’t look successful enough by society’s standards. If your hustle is otherworldly like mine, then you quietly devote your life to the things that will allow you to keep your integrity and ultimately make you happy.

Acceptance

October 02, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in life, personal growth, personal development, queer, relationships, women of color, womanaremagic

I remember vividly, when I recognized that I could no longer pray away my queerness. It was as if my world ended while simultaneously crushing the dreams of my family. You do understand that everything you are rests solely on the approval of your family? Meanwhile, I was dying inside as I suppressed my feelings and stifled my pain. The truth is when I consciously decided to not accept myself, I involuntarily made myself invisible to others.