Justikeandthetribe

Leading With Love and Compassion

This blog is for the individual that desires more of themselves + the people in their lives.

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Am I my sister’s keeper?

September 21, 2022 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, family, generational healing, history, life, love, spirituality, womanaremagic

Lately, I have been thinking about how the mother wound and its role in the lives of men and women have surfaced as of late. The commitment to healing the fracture of not being loved must be foundational for women. It creates an openness and honesty that is necessary to be in community. When we lack self-love, we become a container for garbage that makes us feel like we must “outdo, out-work, out be” one another. Underneath that confusion is a sobering truth that many women would rather die than admit, most women don’t love themselves.

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September 21, 2022 /Ikeranda Smith
thewomanking, black people, black, black women, black woman, endangered species, creative, entrepreneur
black, black mothers, family, generational healing, history, life, love, spirituality, womanaremagic

Preparing For A New Season

December 21, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, life, love, purpose, queer

At some point in life, you wake up + realize that everything you desire must be obtained on your own. This sentiment gathers me because I realize that so many people are holding on to things they should have already released. We make things difficult for fear of having to face ourselves. We much prefer to help others see themselves by gently turning the mirror towards the face of a reflection we haven’t recognized in ourselves yet. Its complicated! I wish people understood that the way to freedom is to turn inward. Perhaps if people had a choice to save their life or the life of another person they would unequivocally redeem someone else for fear of not being enough.

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December 21, 2020 /Ikeranda Smith
peace, love, self love, self worth
black, history, life, love, purpose, queer
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Meditate

December 14, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, life, love, purpose, queer, spirituality

My mind is often consumed with petitions graciously offered up to the Creator. It is important to remain in my lane with the awareness that I am constantly becoming. I have tried to simplify my mission, clarify my space + the individuals in it. I’m speaking of modifying my distractions + the amount of times I have to re-learn the same lesson. I am conveying the only thing that matters to me is showing up for me. If it seems selfish then clearly you lack boundaries, your filter is low + you are dolling out obligations to people that are getting you further away from your goals. I suggest that all people choose themselves.. First! Healing is imminent whether you accept it or not.

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December 14, 2020 /Ikeranda Smith
love, black woman, becoming, growth, purpose
black, history, life, love, purpose, queer, spirituality

Taboo No More

September 14, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, children, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, mental health, personal growth, relationships, spirituality

I used to carry the weight of not knowing about the things that plagued my parents. I watched my mother crawl into bed everyday + wrap the burden of a disease un-diagnosed around her for security. We often choose religion instead of science to keep the lie our families tell us. We suffer in silence afraid to live a better quality of life. We suffer in quietness scared to let down the very people that often put us in these positions. I want to be the story that everyone desires to read because I found freedom is releasing myself from the shame of suffering.

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September 14, 2020 /Ikeranda Smith
mental health, taboo, mental wellness, ptsd, depression, black and mental health, lqbtqia
black, children, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, mental health, personal growth, relationships, spirituality

My Modern Family

August 19, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, marriage, parenting, motherhood

This image impeccably illustrates my life. Uninhabited + varied; yet filled with loads of oxymoron’s coupled with a lot of love. Our life is full of many imperfections; but it just works! I envision somewhere in the near future; we will weep tears of joy witnessing this moment come together. This moment is a flourishing smile from the Universe with an assurance that everything is always working out.

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August 19, 2020 /Ikeranda Smith
family, black family, love, blended family, modern family
black, black mothers, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, marriage, parenting, motherhood
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The Weight of Being Black In Unprecedented Times

June 02, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, Hate Crimes, history, life, mental health, people of color, queer, race

I wish I could be surprised at how pervasive hate is distributed daily. How it lingers in dark spaces waiting to dismantle souls and glorify the same fear it unleashes onto innocent human beings. I am convinced that self-deprecation is a substance that people ingest when they desire to make others a target. Somewhere in America an individual is utilizing self- destructive behavior to create the most heinous war on black people that even their mere presence is a battlefield.

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June 02, 2020 /Ikeranda Smith
racism, black, historyinthemaking2020, blacklivesmatter
black, Hate Crimes, history, life, mental health, people of color, queer, race

Generations

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, children, history, life, love, parenting, people of color, relationships

This moment is healing in motion striving to overcome the absence of women that put strained obligations of family + career before their children. Bygones! These smiles are therapeutic chandeliers that we are now beginning to hang in lieu of carrying the burdens of unmet needs of endless generations. These emotions are amplified from years of suppressing joy due to abusive lovers, absent parents, neglectful grandparents, Jim Crow, share cropping + clandestine meetings shared between broken adults recycling trauma. It’s complicated! Being black is complicated!

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
family, love, black, self-love, black people, black love
black, black mothers, children, history, life, love, parenting, people of color, relationships
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Friendships

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, love, loveislove, people of color, personal growth, queer, relationships

This relationship started from a simple email sent all the way from Nairobi, Kenya 🇰🇪 from a beautiful light that decided to take a chance on building a friendship. Who knew? Who knew that we would have a mutual affinity for one another? Who knew that as soon as she had a business trip to the states that it was imperative that we share time + space?

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
freindships, love, lgbtqia, loveislove, learning, black love, black people, black
black, history, love, loveislove, people of color, personal growth, queer, relationships
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No Fear

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, life, people of color, personal growth, purpose, queer, spirituality

Lately I have been unraveling fear + dissecting how it has caused a wedge in areas of my life. How it has allowed me to listen to well-meaning individuals that refuse to take their own advice. I am convinced that my life + everything about it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Every. Single. Part. Hiding for years has ignited a power in me that permits me to rise into the woman I am destined to be. Being black + queer is everything despite the weight that comes with the obligation of it. It’s hella complicated!

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
fear, purpose, love, lgbtqia, learning, middle passage, growth
black, history, life, people of color, personal growth, purpose, queer, spirituality
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US: GENDER

May 27, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black middle class, education, careers, financial freedom, generational wealth, history, leadership, people of color, personal development, personal growth, wealth, white fragility, women of color

To understand gender one must consider the position of black women. The mere fact that we are the most under represented + under paid; yet the most educated informs us that the roots of sexism are founded in the same economic + political institutions that serve the foundation of racism. Daily we crawl from under the heartbreaking backdrops as we illuminate this earth shattering persona just to gain respect. Often assumed to be a single mother despite being betrothed while her relationship suffers as she over extends her participation to compete with women who have the luxury of not being in the labor force. It’s complicated! Overwhelmed with the realization of having to choose between being a mother or a wife in order to survive undermines the well-being of black families. Historically devaluing black women reinforces autonomous women while simultaneously promoting broken homes. 

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May 27, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
GENDER, gender pay gap, class, race, black women, inequality, black woman, black people, wealth
black, black middle class, education, careers, financial freedom, generational wealth, history, leadership, people of color, personal development, personal growth, wealth, white fragility, women of color

US: CLASS

May 20, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in careers, history, love, LGBTQIA, personal development, race, wealth, financial freedom, generational wealth, black middle class

While watching the movie US, it was the typical backdrop for a traditional black family forced to keep up with their wealthy counterparts as they venture down the rabbit hole. Progress is foreign to black people largely due to the story of race. Most black people consider themselves middle-class; yet only 42% of us own homes. While most of us are doing substantially better than our parents + grandparents; we carry the generational lack that keeps us enslaved. While racism was central to our story, today the picture is extremely more complicated. Although we have an annual spending power of 1.2 trillion, our households have only held a median of $11,000 of wealth. Leaving us only two options: buy up the block or be a business on the block.

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May 20, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
CLASS, race, gender, black middle class, poverty, poc, black families, love, lgbtqia, wealth, generational wealth, wise investments
careers, history, love, LGBTQIA, personal development, race, wealth, financial freedom, generational wealth, black middle class

US: RACE

May 13, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, Hate Crimes, history, life, love, people of color, white fragility

I have been sitting quietly, meditating on what exactly to say after I watched the movie US. It was so much to say + yet I wondered where to start.  So I chose the obvious. Race. As I look at the faces of black folks, I mourn us for so many reasons. We are years away from our souls + haven’t quite fully recovered nor do I think we ever will. Not in this lifetime anyway. It will take several decades to recover the souls that were snatched from our own land + even more decades to remember who we used to be. The reality is race is something we never knew until it was pointed out to us. It was the damaging effects of how racial preferences have a long institutionalized history that often kept black people from opportunities at the expense of our counterparts. It was African slaves replacing the European indentured servants as a source of free labor. It was the General Sherman’s never making good on his “40 acres and a mule” as reparations. It was Jim Crow laws being instituted in the late 19th Century + not being overturned until the 1960’s which reserved the best, jobs, schools, neighborhoods + hospitals for our counterparts. It was the 1935 Wagner Act which granted collective power + excluded black people from access to better jobs, union protection, healthcare, job security + pensions. It was the the Federal Housing Administration deal known today as “redlining” that was explicitly typing mortgage eligibility to race. It was + continually is the border of justice that has always been clearly defined.

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May 13, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
mental health, race, trauma, slavery, self love, love, strength
black, Hate Crimes, history, life, love, people of color, white fragility

Looking For The Door

April 09, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, education, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, marriage, motherhood, parenting, people of color, personal growth, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, women of color

I have been searching diligently, quietly summoning every ancestor while chasing my purpose fully understanding that the Creator + I are in a deep covenant. I question every intention, every motivation, ensuring that my will is put in check + that my ego is buried. I die to myself daily debating my choices, scrutinizing every word that falls from my lips. Why? Because I know that I am responsible for everyone that comes across my path. I am crystal clear about many things in my life, but some things are extremely blurry; terrifyingly unclear to the point that I am often left humbled to a whisper. Often crouched in a corner with tears streaming, staring aimlessly at my plans hoping they align with the Most High.

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April 09, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
love, LGBTQIA, learning, life, black woman, becoming, black queer and educated, God, relationships, resilience, trauma, strength, self-love, qwoc, queer woman of color, queer and black
black, education, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, marriage, motherhood, parenting, people of color, personal growth, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, women of color
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And We Mourn Some More

April 05, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, life, love, motherhood, parenting, people of color, personal growth, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color

Lately, I have been mourning the parts of me that carry the pain of holding onto my will for so long. I ache at the thought of surrendering + I cringe at the work that is going into relinquishing years of trauma. My muscles are bruised from the plight of being a single mother. There are parts of me that collapse under years of silence; having to stuff down fragmented sentences hoping that later they would make sense. Make no mistake, the heart listens to the suppressed emotions that eventually manifests in our bodies + the deeper burden is to be aware of it all.  With every bit of knowledge and acknowledgment there comes an inevitable lingering despair which beckons us to forgive.  

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April 05, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
black love, black woman, black, becoming, blackmothers, black daughters, abandonment, commitment, compassion, God, middle passage, growth, love, self love, mental health, epigenetic inheritance
black, history, life, love, motherhood, parenting, people of color, personal growth, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color
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Complexities of Being Black

February 26, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, personal growth, personal development, relationships, women of color, people of color

There is a heartbreaking tenderness about black folks. A majestic story that is spoken through stolen slaves + subjugated bodies. Our faces are centuries away from our soul; yet we carry the smile of humanness. An accessibility we would allow if we knew how to enter our own spirits. It’s evident that our feet carry the shackles of insecurities proven to shatter relationships when we come up against our own likeness. We struggle to love due to the threats that were made to keep us isolated. Oh, how I love being black. Did you think I wouldn’t after I divulged some of our frailties? Despite our struggles, we are larger than life, precious jewels that create art through our pain while we use laughter as a salve to heal so that we may survive yet another day.

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February 26, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
lgbtq, love, learning, life, loveislove, black love, peace, progress, pain, growth, feelings
black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, personal growth, personal development, relationships, women of color, people of color

To Be Black + A Mother

February 11, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, motherhood, parenting, relationships, women of color

I was raised by a mother who was tough as a fistful of “no thank you’s”; yet resilient enough to beckon the sun to shine even when it was raining. She raised most of her siblings, missed half of the school year working to provide for her family + married the first person that resembled a deep breath. Convinced that she had escaped a life of monotony, she conceived me with a man who never achieved success, so he recycled ignorance. Nevertheless, my mother raised me with fortitude + grace bestowing on me all of her failed dreams + the effects of being neglected. It sounds cruel as if my life was being ruined; however, it was being created from the residue of a generation that carried the weight of being extraordinarily resilient.

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February 11, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
lgbtq, love, LGBTQIA, learning, life, black woman, black love, slavery, parenting, parents, peace, pain
black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, motherhood, parenting, relationships, women of color
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To Be Black

February 01, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, personal growth, queer, relationships, women of color

The weight of my skin wakes me up every single morning. I am jolted by the day begging me to be quieter + less black. I crawl out of bed pulling the hopes of my ancestors from under years of self-degradation praying that my parent’s trauma doesn’t trip me up today. Trusting that my vernacular is articulate enough to get your attention because most days I am injured by the explanations; bruised by the shape-shifting + code switching. Transforming to fit into something worthy of being acceptable + magnificent. Grasping the understanding that we wouldn’t return or recover. Reminded that being glorious is dangerous, especially when you are black. Warriors must walk lightly taking into consideration their gifts as well as their frailties. We hail from things that are fascinating, but up close can be misconstrued as ice sculptures; gorgeous + emotionless.  

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February 01, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
black woman, black daughters, becoming, black queer and educated, blackmothers, acceptance, african, middle passage, self-love, family, finding peace, life lessons, self love, self worth, self reflection
black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, personal growth, queer, relationships, women of color
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Softer

December 03, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in history, life, love, personal development, personal growth, queer, women of color, womensupportingwomen

Words were abused in my home + smashed against mistakes as you casually watch your self-esteem fall slowly to the ground. Disputes were adorned in extravagant gifts + gently wrapped in confrontations that never ended with forgiveness. I don’t know what resolution looks like + often times it’s an all-out tussle to find it. Sometimes it’s a street fight where no one wins + I am left with the baggage of seeing way too many adults disagree in unhealthy ways. It’s a thing!

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December 03, 2018 /Ikeranda Smith
womanhood, women of color, lgbtq, life lessons, loveislove, slavery, black daughters, blackmothers, black queer and educated
history, life, love, personal development, personal growth, queer, women of color, womensupportingwomen
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We Never Recovered

November 28, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in life, personal growth, relationships, personal development, women of color, history

How do you heal from years of trauma inflicted from one generation to the next? How do you carry the weight of pain that was allocated on you just because it was too heavy to keeping lifting? I am convinced that the residue from years of silenced fears + broken families + illegitimate children coupled with physical + verbal abuse has seemingly disabled us. It has seeped into our homes, coated our walls, soaked our furniture + broken our spirits. We are branded with the scars of perilous times + memories of the middle passage.

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November 28, 2018 /Ikeranda Smith
black woman, becoming, black daughters, slavery, middle passage, recovery, QWOC, queerwomenofcolor, lgbtq
life, personal growth, relationships, personal development, women of color, history
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