Looking For The Door

April 09, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, education, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, marriage, motherhood, parenting, people of color, personal growth, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, women of color

I have been searching diligently, quietly summoning every ancestor while chasing my purpose fully understanding that the Creator + I are in a deep covenant. I question every intention, every motivation, ensuring that my will is put in check + that my ego is buried. I die to myself daily debating my choices, scrutinizing every word that falls from my lips. Why? Because I know that I am responsible for everyone that comes across my path. I am crystal clear about many things in my life, but some things are extremely blurry; terrifyingly unclear to the point that I am often left humbled to a whisper. Often crouched in a corner with tears streaming, staring aimlessly at my plans hoping they align with the Most High.

Hey Sis!

March 18, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, life, love, parenting, motherhood, people of color, purpose, personal growth, relationships, women of color, womensupportingwomen

To carry the intersections of being black + a woman on the carousel of life while juggling the intersections of class + gender one must dissect the tradition of overcoming being a black woman. The black woman has endured destruction at every door + sometimes at the hand of her own mother, the mere reflection of her own likeness has been betrayed by generations of abandoned women. Unfortunately, even herself is not beyond her own suspicion. It’s complicated! She’s intelligent; but often insecure. She’s attractive, but often undesirable because her attitude reeks of rejection. She’s extremely loving, but unapproachable. She wears abandonment like cashmere; unemotional yet refined. Everyone has overlooked her; therefore, she must display a disposition of being perpetually guarded. God forbid she is exposed as false with all the blankets of contradictions. Striving in her career to overcompensate for the relationship she longs for. Playing interpersonal relationships like chess; never working with women who may challenge her for fear of being seen as an imposter. Dismissive at best; intimidated at worst. We struggle being seen because we have been overlooked for so long.

Divine

March 12, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, love, life, loveislove, marriage, people of color, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color

I consciously live in color as it relates to my relationship with my wife. Intentionally dissecting the effort, it takes to love another human being. Regularly our conversations consist of what it takes to make a marriage work when we have never witnessed a successful union. Frequently, we communicate the pain that stains our perspective as we contemplate the route we should take to unhinge our own wills. Often we forgive fully understanding that love is a choice + we don’t always get to decide on how we get to distribute it. It’s eerily complicated! A space only those who dare reside can humbly admit, it’s everything you hoped + nothing like you ever expected.

To Be Black + A Mother

February 11, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, motherhood, parenting, relationships, women of color

I was raised by a mother who was tough as a fistful of “no thank you’s”; yet resilient enough to beckon the sun to shine even when it was raining. She raised most of her siblings, missed half of the school year working to provide for her family + married the first person that resembled a deep breath. Convinced that she had escaped a life of monotony, she conceived me with a man who never achieved success, so he recycled ignorance. Nevertheless, my mother raised me with fortitude + grace bestowing on me all of her failed dreams + the effects of being neglected. It sounds cruel as if my life was being ruined; however, it was being created from the residue of a generation that carried the weight of being extraordinarily resilient.

To Be Black + In Love

February 04, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, life, love, marriage, loveislove, relationships

On most days, I am praying for my wife + all the unions that deserve to penetrate darkness. Some weeks my to-do list is just to love her so I stay shackled to humility ensuring that my ego stays beneath my longings to do right. Heartfelt + intentional I seek to exhibit a commitment that resurrects everyday just to succeed. My only wish is to close the gap of the incessant reminders of unresolved trauma. Daily I am reminded of the extraordinary people that have covered my struggles with a blanket of stars as a testament that we can survive. Perhaps our love can cover a multitude of transgressions. So we love…

Allow Me To Introduce Myself: The Quiet Revolutionary

May 13, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in women of color, queer, careers, leadership

In my pursuit for a career, it was extremely important to be myself. It was essential to exude my heritage because my ancestors required me to represent the highest version of my elders. The proclivities of my forefathers were anchored in reverence, rooted in intellectual prowess, and cultivated with exceptional discipline. The mere fact that I accepted the mission was revolutionary! So many of my predecessors stopped short of the requirements to fulfill this purpose; therefore, I had no other choice but to be unequivocally original.