Justikeandthetribe

Leading With Love and Compassion

This blog is for the individual that desires more of themselves + the people in their lives.

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How Co-Parenting Has Affected My View of Marriage as a Black Woman

March 13, 2023 by Ikeranda Smith in black blended families, generational healing, LGBTQIA, parenting, personal growth, purpose, raising secure kids, relationships

Co-parenting has changed the way I view marriage as a black woman. Being in a healthy co-parenting relationship has shown me the importance of communication, trust, and respect in any relationship. It has also made me work harder on my relationship with my wife. We are constantly learning from each other, communicating more effectively, and supporting each other through the ups and downs of life. Our co-parenting relationship has been a strength and inspiration for our marriage. It has taught me valuable lessons about what it means to love and support your partner truly.

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March 13, 2023 /Ikeranda Smith
blackmarriage, queer black love, queer marriage, loveislove, self love
black blended families, generational healing, LGBTQIA, parenting, personal growth, purpose, raising secure kids, relationships

Incessant Black Love

February 15, 2021 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, love, loveislove, marriage, relationships, spirituality

This is a glimpse of a spiritual partnership. The bigger the work of healing things your parents couldn’t; the higher the risk +the greater the reward. We are responsible for crossing thresholds that we could potentially fall in. This endeavor beckons us to bet on us + all the possibilities while we have yet to fully unpack the power I ancestors had. This entire journey impacts the mere foundation we tread upon daily. Our love is an offering coupled with the work it takes to withstand the totality of an experience that brings about transformation as two new human beings emerge. Its complicated!

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February 15, 2021 /Ikeranda Smith
loveislove, black love, black joy, lgbtqia, relationships
black, LGBTQIA, love, loveislove, marriage, relationships, spirituality

Divine Love

September 21, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, life, love, marriage, relationships, spirituality

Relationships are so delicate + crafted by every other relationship we have experienced or the lack thereof. My wife + I often speak of how we discard people for seemingly better designs. We often think our partners will take the place of our friendships or vice versa, but truthfully all relationships have their own special space. Every dynamic deserves its own reverence. Relationships are holy. Every. Single. One.

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September 21, 2020 /Ikeranda Smith
love, lgbtqia, loveislove, queer, marriage, partnership
black, LGBTQIA, life, love, marriage, relationships, spirituality
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Making Love Work

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, love, LGBTQIA, loveislove, marriage, relationships, spirituality

Making life work with you is revolutionary + necessary. Not because we are perfect or that we couldn’t be with someone else that oozes with pulchritudinous splendor, but rather we want to make our love work. Every day I pray for you to keep evolving in this space we are cultivating for both of us to expand. Every day I pray that we work harder on our character than we do on staying. See staying is nothing without the will to be forgiving. Hell, staying is nothing without the capacity to see the worst in someone + say “you good...I promise I got you.” Truth is staying is nothing without the testimony of how we make this work.

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
love, black love, african american, loveislove, queer marriage, marriage
black, love, LGBTQIA, loveislove, marriage, relationships, spirituality
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Friendships

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, love, loveislove, people of color, personal growth, queer, relationships

This relationship started from a simple email sent all the way from Nairobi, Kenya 🇰🇪 from a beautiful light that decided to take a chance on building a friendship. Who knew? Who knew that we would have a mutual affinity for one another? Who knew that as soon as she had a business trip to the states that it was imperative that we share time + space?

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
freindships, love, lgbtqia, loveislove, learning, black love, black people, black
black, history, love, loveislove, people of color, personal growth, queer, relationships
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Black Love Always

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, life, love, marriage, queer, relationships, spirituality

When I decided to love you I asked the Creator one thing + that was to sustain our love. To give us back every year that our parents spent separated + divorced due to addiction. I asked for intentional presence that despite every hurdle we drew closer together. Proximity is everything with you! I asked for us to dwell in love + even when it seemed difficult that it would surface in the last place we put it.

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
black woman, black love, love, loveislove, self love, womenofcolor
black, LGBTQIA, life, love, marriage, queer, relationships, spirituality
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Raising My Daughter

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, children, LGBTQIA, life, love, parenting, motherhood, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color

When I see my daughter, I am humbled by her ability to carry the weight of peer pressure + being a middle -schooler like a 4-foot promise. Committed + occasionally drenched in momentary sadness; yet wearing her resilience like a finished sentence. On point + exact! She is everything I wanted to be but never had the space, bygones!

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
black daughters, mothersanddaughters, blackmothers, love, loveislove, learning
black, black mothers, children, LGBTQIA, life, love, parenting, motherhood, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color
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Loving My Wife

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, love, loveislove, marriage, people of color

Loving my wife has come out of necessity, the desire to get something right. To succeed at relating to another human being in the most intimate way when you have never seen healthy relationships. When witnessing abusive love coupled with complacent love not to mention toxic love throughout your life you live in a perpetual space of survival. Working to beat the odds for fear of letting down an entire generation. It’s complicated!

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
marriage, queer marriage, love, loveislove, lgbtqia
black, LGBTQIA, love, loveislove, marriage, people of color
1 Comment

Intimacy

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, marriage, loveislove, love, people of color, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, women of color

We love deeply because how else do you adore the woman that resembles your past; yet works hard to heal your future. I don’t know how after 15 years, distance, heartbreak, past lovers, mistakes, trauma, children, divorce + everything in between has kept us this in love. They say courting is not for bringing you together; but seeing if life can tear you apart. I would agree 100%! We see each other in ways that our parents didn’t get a chance to because of our father’s addiction. It’s complicated!

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December 06, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
locs, love, lgbtqia, loveislove, relationships, queer marriage, queer, qwoc
black, LGBTQIA, marriage, loveislove, love, people of color, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, women of color
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Love Is The Highest

December 05, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, marriage, love, life, people of color, queer

When growing in love, I have been learning to yield more to the Universe. Allowing the Creator to lead me. I have been learning to forgive quickly because holding grudges interferes with the work I am called to do. I have been surrendering + allowing because love needs room to grow + expand. Especially this love. This love is being cultivated with every exchange, every argument, every disagreement, every misunderstanding, every apology, every intimate moment that reminds us that we are changing an old narrative. A narrative that would like to prove that black love doesn’t exist + if it does, it resides only in movies. So I let love rule!

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December 05, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
lgbtq, love, loveislove, learning, life, lgbtqia, black woman, black mothers, marriage
black, LGBTQIA, marriage, love, life, people of color, queer
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Hey Sis!

March 18, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, life, love, parenting, motherhood, people of color, purpose, personal growth, relationships, women of color, womensupportingwomen

To carry the intersections of being black + a woman on the carousel of life while juggling the intersections of class + gender one must dissect the tradition of overcoming being a black woman. The black woman has endured destruction at every door + sometimes at the hand of her own mother, the mere reflection of her own likeness has been betrayed by generations of abandoned women. Unfortunately, even herself is not beyond her own suspicion. It’s complicated! She’s intelligent; but often insecure. She’s attractive, but often undesirable because her attitude reeks of rejection. She’s extremely loving, but unapproachable. She wears abandonment like cashmere; unemotional yet refined. Everyone has overlooked her; therefore, she must display a disposition of being perpetually guarded. God forbid she is exposed as false with all the blankets of contradictions. Striving in her career to overcompensate for the relationship she longs for. Playing interpersonal relationships like chess; never working with women who may challenge her for fear of being seen as an imposter. Dismissive at best; intimidated at worst. We struggle being seen because we have been overlooked for so long.

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March 18, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
love, parenting, purpose, LGBTQIA, loveislove, women, womanhood
black, life, love, parenting, motherhood, people of color, purpose, personal growth, relationships, women of color, womensupportingwomen
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Divine

March 12, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, love, life, loveislove, marriage, people of color, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color

I consciously live in color as it relates to my relationship with my wife. Intentionally dissecting the effort, it takes to love another human being. Regularly our conversations consist of what it takes to make a marriage work when we have never witnessed a successful union. Frequently, we communicate the pain that stains our perspective as we contemplate the route we should take to unhinge our own wills. Often we forgive fully understanding that love is a choice + we don’t always get to decide on how we get to distribute it. It’s eerily complicated! A space only those who dare reside can humbly admit, it’s everything you hoped + nothing like you ever expected.

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March 12, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
loveislove, black love, womenofcolor, LGBTQIA, love, life, black, marriage, relationships
black, LGBTQIA, love, life, loveislove, marriage, people of color, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color
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Complexities of Being Black

February 26, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, personal growth, personal development, relationships, women of color, people of color

There is a heartbreaking tenderness about black folks. A majestic story that is spoken through stolen slaves + subjugated bodies. Our faces are centuries away from our soul; yet we carry the smile of humanness. An accessibility we would allow if we knew how to enter our own spirits. It’s evident that our feet carry the shackles of insecurities proven to shatter relationships when we come up against our own likeness. We struggle to love due to the threats that were made to keep us isolated. Oh, how I love being black. Did you think I wouldn’t after I divulged some of our frailties? Despite our struggles, we are larger than life, precious jewels that create art through our pain while we use laughter as a salve to heal so that we may survive yet another day.

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February 26, 2019 /Ikeranda Smith
lgbtq, love, learning, life, loveislove, black love, peace, progress, pain, growth, feelings
black, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, personal growth, personal development, relationships, women of color, people of color

Softer

December 03, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in history, life, love, personal development, personal growth, queer, women of color, womensupportingwomen

Words were abused in my home + smashed against mistakes as you casually watch your self-esteem fall slowly to the ground. Disputes were adorned in extravagant gifts + gently wrapped in confrontations that never ended with forgiveness. I don’t know what resolution looks like + often times it’s an all-out tussle to find it. Sometimes it’s a street fight where no one wins + I am left with the baggage of seeing way too many adults disagree in unhealthy ways. It’s a thing!

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December 03, 2018 /Ikeranda Smith
womanhood, women of color, lgbtq, life lessons, loveislove, slavery, black daughters, blackmothers, black queer and educated
history, life, love, personal development, personal growth, queer, women of color, womensupportingwomen
2 Comments

The Power of Commitment

August 27, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in queer, marriage, relationships

There is no mystery that it takes an unusual amount of work to make a relationship work. As a matter of fact, I am convinced the strength of your relationship does not surface until two completely different individuals are nestled underneath the same roof seemingly living life.  Meanwhile there is always the weight of reality that settles on the cracks of your delicate foundation as you pray that the structure doesn’t give under massive pressure; yet we strategically construct elaborate plans to pursue elusive #relationshipgoals. The truth is relationships are not merely some make-shift perfunctory union; rather it is an intentionally crafted business that decides to make things work.

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August 27, 2018 /Ikeranda Smith
love, marriage, commitment, queer marriage, loveislove, relationships
queer, marriage, relationships
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