Justikeandthetribe

Leading With Love and Compassion

This blog is for the individual that desires more of themselves + the people in their lives.

Lessons

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black female doctors, black, careers, education, leadership, love, people of color, personal development

I have come to realize that the cost of living authentically is expensive because it requires me to take ownership of spaces that typically didn’t welcome my ancestors. It’s requires a responsibility that unravels in every action, word + deed. It requires discipline to stay before the Creator not to confess my limitations but rather to express my upmost gratitude. It also requires a burden that most people don’t desire to carry due to the obligation to ignite others to pick up their mantle + race to accomplish their purpose.

Mothering

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, love, parenting, people of color, relationships, spirituality

This is my mother + we are re-building what it looks like to be in relationship with one another. When you are desperately “over parented” you spend most of your life in conflict with your caregivers/parents realizing that you never had the option to relax. You ingest anxiety in every interaction always wondering who your mother really is + if she ever desired to be her own woman. It has taken all of my mother’s life + mine to come to a place where we both release the weight of our undue expectations regarding the life we wanted. She didn’t have it to give + I don’t think she wanted to because historically black mothers didn’t have the time to extend love. Grief colored the tone of my mother’s voice leaving most interactions virtually impossible.

Happiness

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, life, love, people of color, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, black female doctors

Lately I have been cultivating love in a new way + taking time to do the things I love. I live in my head as a way to stay unwaveringly grounded. Being unapologetically queer+ black with an understanding of all the things that my parents, parents, parents endured can be extremely heady. It’s complicated! So I work hard to dismantle the parts of my lineage that tend to trip me up.

Intimacy

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, LGBTQIA, marriage, loveislove, love, people of color, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, women of color

We love deeply because how else do you adore the woman that resembles your past; yet works hard to heal your future. I don’t know how after 15 years, distance, heartbreak, past lovers, mistakes, trauma, children, divorce + everything in between has kept us this in love. They say courting is not for bringing you together; but seeing if life can tear you apart. I would agree 100%! We see each other in ways that our parents didn’t get a chance to because of our father’s addiction. It’s complicated!

US: Mental Illness

May 09, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, education, LGBTQIA, life, people of color, women of color, mental health

No one escapes the perils of life that pierce us to the point of anguish. Unfortunately for black people, we know this sentiment all too well + are reminded daily as we maneuver our blackness while carrying the weight of our history. It’s complicated! We carry success like a tamed beast; proud but ferocious. We are loving at first glance, appearing to have it altogether but underneath we are tortured by our past. Carrying the weight of having to make it + then free everyone else. Despite our list of accomplishments, black people share a sobering emotional attachment to overcoming mental illness. Often labeled as “crazy” by our own when we vocalize that we couldn’t “pray it away”, therefore resigning to suffer silently rather than reach out for help.

Looking For The Door

April 09, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, education, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, marriage, motherhood, parenting, people of color, personal growth, purpose, queer, relationships, spirituality, women of color

I have been searching diligently, quietly summoning every ancestor while chasing my purpose fully understanding that the Creator + I are in a deep covenant. I question every intention, every motivation, ensuring that my will is put in check + that my ego is buried. I die to myself daily debating my choices, scrutinizing every word that falls from my lips. Why? Because I know that I am responsible for everyone that comes across my path. I am crystal clear about many things in my life, but some things are extremely blurry; terrifyingly unclear to the point that I am often left humbled to a whisper. Often crouched in a corner with tears streaming, staring aimlessly at my plans hoping they align with the Most High.

Welcome 2019

January 09, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in life, love, personal development, personal growth, queer, women of color

Every year I enter into a space of deep reflection, not because of overzealous expectations or unrequited interactions. Nor do I feel the need to astound others by overcompensating for the work that is still in progress. Yet and still, I cross the threshold of another year with the weight of things I have incessantly ingested due to realizing I have reached an all new capacity of desiring more. Not more things to perturb me or lofty things that only make others feel that I have arrived. Not even more ostentatious relationships that drain me from the moment salutations are exchanged. Some things take up residence in our bodies + redirect our intentions for no other reason than to waste our time + delay our purpose.

Parenting From The Highest Place

December 31, 2018 by Ikeranda Smith in love, life, personal growth, parenting, motherhood, queer, relationships, women of color

When I reflect on my years as a parent, I often wonder how am I doing it. I am astonished at how I am able to give my children the very things I missed as a child. I am overwhelmed at how I speak to them + acknowledge their every effort. I am surprised at how I am intentional about exposing them in an effort to spark conversations that will give them the space to be critical thinkers. I often remind my children that I would be remiss if I didn’t confess that I am far from Mary Poppins + I am not even reminiscent of a Claire Huxtable; yet somehow I manage to give them what I never received.