Leading With Love and Compassion
This blog is for the individual that desires more of themselves + the people in their lives.
Dive into the intricate tale of blended love, where the dream of a larger family clashes with the complexities of reality. As an only child, the allure of noisy holidays and unfiltered laughter was irresistible, but my journey through blended families unfolded as a nuanced narrative.
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Parenthood is a transformative journey filled with love, laughter, and countless memorable moments. However, it's no secret that raising teenagers presents a unique set of challenges that can significantly strain our relationships with our children and our marriages. In this blog post, we dive into the thought-provoking insights that explore the intricate dynamics of parenting middle and high schoolers while balancing the needs of a marriage and self-care. Join me as I unveil parents’ unspoken struggles and uncover practical strategies for navigating this critical phase of family life.
Finding Balance Amidst Responsibilities: Raising teenagers often means juggling academic demands, extracurricular activities, and social pressures. It's no wonder that many couples find it challenging to strike a balance between nurturing their children and maintaining a healthy marriage. My wife and I are strict about keeping our regular date nights.
Unlocking Effective Communication: Communication is the key to any successful relationship, but it becomes increasingly complex when raising teenagers. Hormonal changes, emotional sensitivity, and evolving identities can strain the lines of communication between parents and their teens, consequently impacting the marriage. My wife and I communicate often and daily; it helps to find humor and stay connected in a busy world (also, we are not glued to our phones).
Nurturing Identity and Connection: Couples need to navigate their personal growth while nurturing the marriage as our children grow into independent individuals. However, the demands of parenting often leave little room for self-discovery and shared interests. Therefore, my wife and I support one another as we continue evolving into the women we want to be.
The Power of Self-Care: Parenting is an all-encompassing journey that can leave us emotionally and physically drained. Neglecting self-care affects our well-being and adds to the stress experienced in our marriages. Therefore, my wife and I always ensure that we are active such as taking yoga and walking in our community (being active is essential to growth).
Seeking Support and Professional Guidance: Recognizing when to seek external support is a sign of strength and a valuable resource for couples navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Whether through counseling, joining parenting groups, or seeking advice from trusted mentors or friends, reaching out for guidance and how it can positively impact marriages and families. My wife and I swear by counseling (I firmly believe that as much as you help others, you must seek help as well).
Raising middle and high schoolers while nurturing ourselves and our marriages is undeniably challenging. However, we can actively work towards creating a harmonious and fulfilling family dynamic by acknowledging and addressing the unspoken struggles.
As a black woman, healing with my wife and kids has been a transformative experience that has strengthened our relationships with each other positively. By working on ourselves individually and as a family unit, we've learned how to communicate better, empathize with each other's struggles, and offer support when needed most. We've also discovered new ways to have fun and create meaningful memories together, bringing us closer. Healing is a journey, but it has allowed us to become a stronger, more connected family.
Read MoreCo-parenting has changed the way I view marriage as a black woman. Being in a healthy co-parenting relationship has shown me the importance of communication, trust, and respect in any relationship. It has also made me work harder on my relationship with my wife. We are constantly learning from each other, communicating more effectively, and supporting each other through the ups and downs of life. Our co-parenting relationship has been a strength and inspiration for our marriage. It has taught me valuable lessons about what it means to love and support your partner truly.
Read MoreWhy not love, or fun, possibly ease? How about a nap? Let’s relax and do nothing. Better yet, let’s skip a day of seriousness and be silly. I have always been quite hilarious; it’s one of the things I could do effortlessly in my life. It didn’t require anything of me. It took little to no effort, and I always got people to laugh. Then I realized that when you are known for certain things, people don’t want your truth, and they sure don’t want the weight of what it costs you to smile all the time. So, I stopped. I came to a screeching halt. I began to take like seriously, or maybe it just got severe, but whatever it was, I decided over 15 years ago to grow up.
Read MoreI grew up in a dominant family system, raised by a single black mother who was the oldest of 12 children; I should not be the mother I am. I say this as a head nod to my mother but a revelation to myself. I should not be the mother that I am. Truthfully I can’t take the credit solely; my wife is a “G,” and in her defense, she would say that she was much more neglectful with the oldest kids. We admit that it was less to worry about when she raised the older kids. However, today we realize that to raise secure kids, you must be unequivocally secure, or someone will suffer, and I suspect it won’t be just the kids.
Read MoreSome things were not meant to work + if you are blessed to start again with another human being that shares your same values…it’s a win! I have been navigating a blended family for many years, but it always reminds me that relationships need to be decolonized. I am a product of a blended family; my kids are products of a blended family + my wife’s kids are a product of a blended family. The more people to love. The more people to build community. The more people to give children a second chance at having minimal trauma. This is always the plan; however, it takes an enormous amount of work to achieve this goal. It takes open-minded people who have healed their inner child, put their egos in check + most of all want the best for the “children.”
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