Leading With Love and Compassion
This blog is for the individual that desires more of themselves + the people in their lives.
Love, for me, has always been deeply intertwined with the concept of safety. Many people don’t realize that the discomfort they often feel is rooted more in a lack of safety than in the actual events occurring around them. Before I could seek safety from others, I had to learn to cultivate it within myself.
Read MoreThe journey of being in community with my parents has been nothing short of, let’s just say, interesting. For most of my life, I've rarely had both of them present at the same time, and now is no different. When my father came back into my life during COVID, it felt like a turning point.
Read MoreLately, I haven't felt like myself. A recent conversation with my astrologer changed that. She lovingly asked me, "Do you feel like you show up as yourself?" I had to admit that while I might feel authentic on date nights, most of the time—whether I'm seeing clients or just going about my day—I feel like I'm wearing a uniform.
Read MoreRest and joy have become my guiding lights, my ministry. I discovered their transformative power during one of the darkest periods of my life, right after my first marriage ended. With my kids' father gone, I faced the daunting task of starting over. In that turbulent season, it was reading and seeking joy that sustained me. I vividly recall the relentless pursuit of happiness, finding reasons to smile even when it felt impossible.
Read MoreI'm a bit late in penning this post, but honesty is always the best policy, right? Mother's Day took on a different hue for me this year. While my children and wife never fail to shower me with love, it's also a time for reflection, a dive into the complexities of my role as a mother, influenced not only by my personal experiences but also by the intricate threads of matrilineal lineage.
Read MoreIn my quest for longevity and fulfillment, I've come to realize that the cornerstone of such a life lies in the profound embrace of love. Reflecting on my journey, I can't pinpoint the exact moment when this revelation dawned upon me, but I vividly recall witnessing my mother's valiant struggle with love—a journey marked by single-handedly raising me, shouldering the burden of caring for her family, all while neglecting her own needs and battling with the shadows of depression.
Read MoreAs I reflect on my journey as a Black queer woman, obedience emerges as a guiding principle, a profound invitation to align with the Divine. It's not merely about following rules but about surrendering to a higher purpose, mainly when life's challenges test our faith. Join me as we explore the transformative power of obedience, discovering how it leads us to our most authentic selves and ignites our souls' profound passions.
Read MoreAs a black woman, healing with my wife and kids has been a transformative experience that has strengthened our relationships with each other positively. By working on ourselves individually and as a family unit, we've learned how to communicate better, empathize with each other's struggles, and offer support when needed most. We've also discovered new ways to have fun and create meaningful memories together, bringing us closer. Healing is a journey, but it has allowed us to become a stronger, more connected family.
Read MoreThis year I turned 44, and wow, what an entrance into the double digits in the upward 40s group. I have been quite enthralled in “life,” and for me, that looks like chasing my purpose (God teaching me), loving my wife (learning how to be in partnership), and raising secure kids (nurturing my inner child), all simultaneously. While getting older is fantastic for many reasons, it is also sobering; yet we are born knowing that life is precious and should be treated as such. The problem is that by the time we genuinely understand that sentiment, life has lovingly grabbed us in a choke hold, smashed all our unfortunate realities in our faces, and we are grasping for pieces of ourselves that we have gathered through just living ‘life”.
Read MoreI am product of abuse. Physical. Emotional. Sexual. I say this because most of my life, I would never have admitted such a truth. I would have made it sound more colorful, delightful so that it would be more palatable to digest. I would have danced around the verity of knowing that the pain I have endured didn’t start with me. It began with a trembling urgency to break free, it lingered in exchanges that were damaged from survival, it is suspended in generations that will not allow the pain to visit long enough to heal it. I am a guest in my family. They just don’t know it.
Read MoreAs I sit here wrapped in my thoughts, I am acutely aware of my body. All too often, we have left our bodies before we were ever given the chance to become acquainted with it. We are mere expressions of abuse, neglect + abandonment frequently being reminded of our past as we casually move throughout the world. Most of us were taught to suppress enormous amounts of information in exchange for love or care. Our trauma has played out in the desires we have that are fundamentally disproportionate to the comfort we require daily. The critical issue with quelling our triggers is often we cannot. We must become familiar with the vibrations that remind us that we have never fully recovered.
Read MoreI used to struggle understanding how someone could withstand so much pressure; yet find peace to bestow love to others. Its a learned skill that requires patience + devotion. Not at the same time; but consistently acknowledging the duality of both. Every evolution begins with a problem + for me it was my trauma. I have learned to embrace those parts of myself that were meant to be a hinderance. I have cultivated every lesson as something to pass on to others. I recognize that people crumble underneath the symptoms of trauma much quicker than just confessing the disease. Nothing is more sobering than the sound of your truth on someone else’s lips. I guess that’s why I am not afraid of being broken in an effort to be great.
Read MoreMaking relationships work with another human being comes at a high price especially when you are trying to do something you have never witnessed. Partnerships are messy, raising children can be complicated + loving yourself in the process of unpacking another individual’s trauma can bring about a whole new set of challenges. I am convinced that Spirit had a sense of humor when they constructed the beautiful idea of connecting with another individual.
Read MoreRaising you + your brother has sometimes all at once been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. It is still difficult, but I love it + sometimes all at once I cry because I love you for being so amazingly resilient. The things you give up as a parent are endless, from sleep, to just getting up + going, to hanging out when you want, to being able to have certain things to yourself + yet sometimes all at once you surrender your will + ego for the greater good. I fear that I have failed you, especially before I found myself because operating from my inner child was rough. I was petty, afraid, insecure at the ways that you loved me + I couldn’t quite love myself (not yet anyway) + then all at once you grew me up. I began to love you in ways that my mother couldn’t often being triggered by the ways that I still needed what I was giving you. It’s complicated! I tell you that sentiment often, because it is extremely complicated as I wonder will I have what it takes to give you the wings you need to soar + sometimes all at once you soar a little higher.
Read MoreMy father is a strong man. Yet, when I was younger he wasn’t tough enough to stay faithful, or solid enough to be present, not even sturdy enough to be drug-free, and definitely not robust enough to not be physically and verbally abusive. I believe that you have to fully understand a person in order to see the good in them (trust me, I am going somewhere with this). I don’t believe in making excuses for people because some things are just unacceptable! However, clarity is a powerful thing when coupled with understanding.
Read More