Justikeandthetribe

Leading With Love and Compassion

This blog is for the individual that desires more of themselves + the people in their lives.

Thoughts On Getting Older

February 08, 2021 by Ikeranda Smith in black mothers, children, love, life, spirituality

This picture is a reflection of a woman who is deeply involved with herself. Don’t mind the background or my beautiful spouse but rather hear my heart. This moment is a fraction of many moments in my life that are often so fleeting due to the demands of life, a career that I love, motherhood + many other wonderful things that I am blessed to do. Yet there is a transition that my body is slowing shifting to or at least I am yearning for. I desire to be free of one thing + that is my “moon.”

Making Room For Growth

December 28, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, LGBTQIA, love, personal growth

To be a woman that is unequivocally sure of herself you must be firm + reserve only the tender parts of yourself for people who have earned the right to benefit from it. The truth is to be a black, queer, woman you must learn quickly that you must walk quiet with a big stick. You can’t leave anything on the table not even a possibility for an opportunity. You must be prepared to walk away from friends + family at any moment; especially if they are interfering with the woman you are becoming. Its complicated! You must push your children to grow up + not lean to hard on you unless you give way to their desires + ultimately forget about yours. You must love your spouse with your whole heart + refuse to allow fear to keep you from committing + forgiving. God damn is it complicated!

Canada’s Corner

November 09, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, children, love, parenting, relationships

When I think about my time as a young precocious girl, I am often saddened due to the loneliness I endured. There were some generations that spent more time working than speaking. I often saw adults consumed with everything but their children under the guise that we were so responsible. Unfortunately, we were too responsible for our own good. We often buried ourselves in distractions that often lead us astray. Of course I am speaking from my own lived experience, so don’t mind me. I realize that if I wanted my parent’s attention, I had to get it by misbehaving because being good often got ignored due to other pressing issues. Its complicated!

The Evolution of Mavis

November 02, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, motherhood, spirituality, relationships

I am convinced that my love for myself has healed my mother. It is her permission to bloom + relax even though we have years of pain to apologize for. I listen to my mother’s pain + it tells a story of what I might come across on my journey. So I pack light! Never wanting to carry more than I need. I embrace the lessons, admit when things hurt still + listen with my heart. I understand that even when we vent there is still more pain that needs to be removed. So I am reminded to be gentle with myself + her because truthfully, we are one in the same.

Parenting A Middle Schooler During A Pandemic

October 26, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black mothers, children, life, motherhood, relationships

There are many moments as a parent that I am in awe of the Canada’s design. I admit, her design is unmatched when I look back at my younger self. Not to compare + contrast the various idiosyncrasies that we have, but I am grateful. Many times as parents we have inserted our own frailties in an effort to help our children along, forgetting they don’t belong to us. I have asked forgiveness, made stronger bonds + sadly made a few dents along the way. Bygones! We persist!

Incessant Black Joy

September 28, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, children, love, parenting, motherhood, relationships

Parenting is hard for reasons that you can’t begin to write in one post. Its intricate, overwhelming, amazing, frightening, stressful, unbelievably joyous; yet every day I sit before the Creator + wonder “Hey God you sure I’m the right one for this gig?” I look at my son + intentionally teach him how to unravel himself from all the constructs the world tries to enforce upon him. Affirming him is my daily prayer, my first cup of coffee before I enter my day. It’s complicated!

My Modern Family

August 19, 2020 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, history, LGBTQIA, life, love, loveislove, marriage, parenting, motherhood

This image impeccably illustrates my life. Uninhabited + varied; yet filled with loads of oxymoron’s coupled with a lot of love. Our life is full of many imperfections; but it just works! I envision somewhere in the near future; we will weep tears of joy witnessing this moment come together. This moment is a flourishing smile from the Universe with an assurance that everything is always working out.

Generations

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, children, history, life, love, parenting, people of color, relationships

This moment is healing in motion striving to overcome the absence of women that put strained obligations of family + career before their children. Bygones! These smiles are therapeutic chandeliers that we are now beginning to hang in lieu of carrying the burdens of unmet needs of endless generations. These emotions are amplified from years of suppressing joy due to abusive lovers, absent parents, neglectful grandparents, Jim Crow, share cropping + clandestine meetings shared between broken adults recycling trauma. It’s complicated! Being black is complicated!

New Normal

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, children, love, parenting, relationships, spirituality

So here we are stepping into a new season. Somewhere I imagined this day. I even anticipated it. The day your moon would come to claim you as its own. I remember when you looked at me with such uncertainty, hoping that my love never diminished. Praying that this was the moment we empathized with each other because we could now understand the journey we both were taking. Isn’t it miraculous how the Universe climbs into our lap without warning only to swallow our fears and replace them with massive portions of purpose that will only fit in the Creators hands?

First Moon Celebration

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, children, black mothers, leadership, love, motherhood, parenting, relationships, spirituality

This moment is essential not because it’s a photo of black women but it’s a snapshot of generations being healed + patterns being broken. When I divorced my kids father I didn’t understand the gravity of witnessing a family being torn apart by epigenetic trauma while trying to balance your truth + your kid’s hearts. It’s complicated!

Mothering

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, love, parenting, people of color, relationships, spirituality

This is my mother + we are re-building what it looks like to be in relationship with one another. When you are desperately “over parented” you spend most of your life in conflict with your caregivers/parents realizing that you never had the option to relax. You ingest anxiety in every interaction always wondering who your mother really is + if she ever desired to be her own woman. It has taken all of my mother’s life + mine to come to a place where we both release the weight of our undue expectations regarding the life we wanted. She didn’t have it to give + I don’t think she wanted to because historically black mothers didn’t have the time to extend love. Grief colored the tone of my mother’s voice leaving most interactions virtually impossible.

Raising My Daughter

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, black mothers, children, LGBTQIA, life, love, parenting, motherhood, purpose, relationships, spirituality, women of color

When I see my daughter, I am humbled by her ability to carry the weight of peer pressure + being a middle -schooler like a 4-foot promise. Committed + occasionally drenched in momentary sadness; yet wearing her resilience like a finished sentence. On point + exact! She is everything I wanted to be but never had the space, bygones!

Raising My Son

December 06, 2019 by Ikeranda Smith in black, motherhood, parenting, queer, relationships, black mothers

Each day I raise my son, I am reminded that I still need to be mothered from a space of compassion from not seeing many decent men in my life. As I look at my son, I release him from my clutches fully understanding that so many black mothers made their sons their husbands + fathers trying to reclaim the “promise”. It’s complicated! I hug him often reminding him of his greatness rather than subjugating him to my hopes + dreams like the proverbial black mother. .